Dad

My dad was an amazing guy! From early childhood, I always thought my dad was the smartest and wisest man ever. He could fix anything. He was strong and he was a hard worker.

Emotionally, though, he was distant and shut down, at least until he got angry. He had a very tough childhood. His mother had died when he was a little boy, and he was raised by a dad who was harsh and punitive. I doubt that my grandfather even knew he was supposed to have a nurturing side. Consequently, my dad was probably emotionally needy. In an earlier post I think I alluded to my dad and mom being two needy people who found each other. Very sad.

Dad was always doing something. He was a police officer on the LAPD, a job that he really just endured. He never talked about his work with us, so I don't know much about it. But when he was home, he was always puttering around. Working in the garage. Mowing the lawn. Painting. Building something. Repairing something. Just always busy. I rarely saw him sit down during the day, except to have lunch.

He was also helpful. Dad spent countless hours volunteering at our church whenever there was a project (i.e. building the sanctuary or fellowship hall) that needed workers. He was also good with members of the congregation, doing whatever he could to help them out.

Dad was also very smart. Lots of common sense. He only finished high school, even though he really wanted to go to college and become a teacher. (I think that is why my sister and I ended up being teachers???) Dad read a lot and just had a way of figuring things out and absorbing information. When you could get him talking, he was really interesting.

I wish I could have been close to my dad. Of my two parents, he is the one that I felt drawn to the most. Probably because we were both "victims" of my mom's disapproval and anger. Not sure. We never talked about it.

On the other hand, as much as I loved my dad and was drawn to him, I know that he was also, just like my mom, disappointed in me. I never measured up. He had a yardstick by which he measured a life, and it was a different yardstick than I chose.

I learned many things over the years, though, all good lessons. Be honest. Pay your bills. Tell the truth. Keep your word. Be faithful. Love God. Follow the rules.

My dad did the best he could, the same as my mom did. When I look at what he grew up with, it is amazing that he parented as well as he did.